THE RONALD REAGAN ONE MILLION DOLLAR BANK NOTE RELIGIOUS
There ought to be a law
I was walking over Austin's South Congress Ave Bridge
around 2am this past weekend, when I noticed a one million
dollar bill folded in half and lying on the sidewalk.
I fell in love with it immediately.
Related and in the news: Denton TX ministry raided by
Secret Service, in trouble with the government for distributing
counterfeit One Million Dollar Bills. NEWS
- Something new soon. Best, Ethan
ON THIS SITE ... Early July 2006:
- NEW ADDITION TO OUR COMICS LIBRARY
TO SPOT A JAP" ! (1942)
Completely racist boneheaded US military WWII comic
Yes you read that last sentence correct!
Legs joined directly at his chest - Who Knew?
Words are a little difficult with this one (no pun intended)
but man are we happy to share. "HOW TO SPOT A JAP"
was an educational comic strip included in a 75-page
booklet called "POCKET GUIDE TO CHINA" - which
was handed out to US NAVY and ARMY soldiers during their
stay in China during World War II. The Guide itself
is pretty useful (by comparison anyway), but in the
back is this insanely racist eleven page comic strip,
which we're providing for you in full. Wonderfully specific
title, certainly, but that's nothing. As an authentic
government publication this thing is downright unbelievable.
In fact, it's full of so much wrong-headed information,
that I almost got a Grade 2 concussion just LOOKING
at the damn thing.
Instructions on how to tell a Japanese man from a Chinese
man, based on foot shape:
TO SPOT A JAP was illustrated (and credited) to Milton
Caniff, who produced TERRY AND THE PIRATES, and it stars
characters from the comic. The script, however, had
to be a collaboration between Caniff and the War Department;
as it's an all-out attack aiming to reduce the Japanese
to monosyllabic, slurring, cavemen stomping short slobs.
This isn't my opinion, it's the comic's itself - and
it's almost unbelievable reading in today's carefully
assembled politically sensitive climate. Contained within
are protocol tips pertaining to interrogating Japanese
soldiers that had to belong to the Army. I feel terrible
for anyone shot based on the information in this comic,
too, which is far more than likely.
It's conceivable that enough international incidents
were caused by this thing which was, once again, offered
as an INSTRUCTIONAL GUIDE in WARTIME to troops, that
the Army had the good sense to pull it from the POCKET
GUIDE in any subsequent printings. But before this happened,
HOW TO SPOT A JAP became a minor US hit, re-appearing
in color on the Sunday pages in place of Milt Caniff's
TERRY AND THE PIRATES - and, as the ultimate punchline:
as the back cover (many panels from the comic in a group)
for a children's SCHOOLBOOK, (!) entitled, "CHINA
PRIMER" subheaded: "ESPECIALLY PREPARED FOR
HOW TO SPOT A JAP might very well be the most racist
thing we post here, which is a statement in itself.
(trust me, we're barely giving anything away with these
four panels above) Ironically, it's also one of our
most patriotic pieces, as well. If it teaches us anything
it's ...well, uh ...Don't Fuck with Pearl Harbor I guess,
or to translate this to modern times: "Let's Roll"
- xo, Ethan
(show at the left, as a Sunday newspaper comic strip,
and at right, as reproduced as the back cover of a children's
ON THIS SITE ... May/June 2006:
- NEW ADDITION TO OUR
VIEWING THEATRE -
"POODLE SAMIZDAT" (2006)
A new short film, with instructions.
By Ethan Persoff and Scott Marshall
STARRING Condoleeza Rice, George W Bush, Sen Bill Frist,
Sen Rick Santorum, Karl Rove, Bob's Big Boy, Ann Coulter,
Ronald Reagan, Geraldo Rivera, Nancy, Sluggo, John Negroponte,
Jim Dobson, Dick Cheney, Bozo the Clown, Dennis Hastert,
Jeff Gannon Guckert, Douglas Jay Feith, Donald Rumsfeld,
Antonio Gonzalez, and a very special appearance by Uncle
Starring New Edition, LaToya Jackson, Whitney Houston
(irony!), Nancy Reagan, David Hasselhoff, Tootie from
Facts of Life, Herb Alpert (irony!) from Whipped Cream
Delights, Casey Kasem (awesome!), Arnold Schwarzenegger
(irony!), and many others.
With special guest appearance by Boogaloo Shrimp from
Breakin' and Breakin' 2, creator of the pop-and-lock,
as well as the moonwalk.
Additional links if bandwidth is currently exceeded: YOUTUBE
of the "We Are the World" that wasn't,
"Stop the Madness" is the only 80s music video
to ever be sponsored by the White House. It's also a
total piece of nearly unwatchable crap. But a beautiful
one in every possible sense. Please note: While I adore
most of this, the beginning is pretty bad, starting
off on the complete wrong note of a heavy montage with
a heart beating and a tortured monkey. Patience rewards
here, though. Hold out for a few seconds until New Edition
shows up on the microphone. From then on it's all a
1980s singing and dancing drug-stomping miracle.
This was such a confusing piece of government bullshit
few television stations knew what to do with it when
the video was new and therefore STOP THE MADNESS was
barely ever aired at all, leading many to think the
entire thing was possibly just a rumor. But the promise
that the video existed continued to pop up from time
to time --- and given the participants involved (irony!)
and the pure joy of wanting to see how the Reagan Administration
interpreted "popular music video" we knew
we had to find a copy to share. It wasn't easy to locate
but we were finally able to find one from the personal
archive of a no longer operational UHF television station
in the midwest, who generously offers up this unexpurgated
Broadcast Master copy, with the introduction and closing
credits all included. What did they take in trade? A
bottle of Vodka. Not kidding. Who could make that shit
up? But I figure you'd need a drink too if you'd been
holding onto this head-bending thing for twenty years.
a permanent page link to this video, along
with full cast information and lyrics .... Beware, however.
This stuff is poison. I personally gave up drugs sixteen
times in a row after watching this. I overdosed on refusal.
Now's your chance. CHOOSE LIFE, etc.
1) A government comic on an awful sex topic. But it's
a great one! To repeating visitors of this site, this
is a real treat for you, worth the two year wait - as
it's from the same 1960s art and story team that made
HOOKED. This one is called JOHNNY GETS THE WORD - Click
Click on our news
page to see a great old medical
illustration on this topic, along with a quarantine
sign. What is it about old medical illustrations that
seem to make almost anything look beautiful?
Madonna on AIDS
issue of Comics
with Problems, starring the only
woman to make Judaism look like Scientology. Madonna
teaches us about AIDS. Thank you Madonna. Handed out
one night only in Madison Square Garden, 1987. Click