John McCain 2008 Espanol
Posted at 8:14 AM on 9/29/2008 by Dr. Travis Towers, M.D.

American Psychiatric Foundation:
Assessment of Mr. McCain's debate performance as it relates to his ongoing Couples File with wife, Cindy

cc: Dr. Marion Beagle, M.D.,
cc: Dr. Elaine Bustiosis, M.D.,
cc: Dr. Rupertos Dougliano M.D.

Friends and colleagues: Friday's debate appearance shows a sign of improvement for outpatient, Senator John McCain. Yes, as doctors I think we can all give ourselves a round of praise and congratulations. He showed up clear eyed, and did not collapse, or even slur. Our late evening counsel sessions, including the aggressive administration of medication, successfully alleviated all surface signs of anger, anxiety and dementia that had so plagued the four days preceeding. (see Memo #2978467ED-H, Drug Referral #457HG)

Yes, from a chemical standpoint, all indications suggest continuing Mr. McCain on this current prescription path, at least through October. His nausea has plateaued. Gone now are also the jolting arms, eye twitching, halitosis, and neck welts we'd been initially most concerned with. However, I'm still waiting for Dr. Bustiosis' report from the medical team on potential psychological problems relating to Mr. McCain's skull fracture, as reported two weeks ago, in Akron.

With regard to the Akron skull fracture: I realize we're dealing with two patients here: John McCain, Presidential Candidate, and John McCain, Husband. And, as the subject of this memo suggests, while I find Mr. McCain's debate appearance adequate, there are some issues from his performance that leaves me concerned the Akron conflict with Mrs. McCain has not been fully resolved.

During the Thursday evening hypnosis session, Dr. Dougliano prescribed Mr. McCain: "no longer view Mr. Barack Obama as a rival". In an effort to improve Mr. McCain's tone, he prescribed: "Talk as if you are in a restaurant with your wife, possibly discussing a tender family matter ... look into my eyes ... you will see your opponent as if it is your wife ... treat him exaaaactly as you do your wife. Nice, yes? So nice? At the count of three."

Well, I think we all see the lack of success with this prescribed approach.

I'm referring, of course, to the eye shifting, the loud interruptions, the lack of addressing his partner in conversation. All hypnosis indicates Mr. McCain saw his wife at the opposite podium. And his severe disregard for Mrs. McCain, be it hallucinated or genuine, is something that should worry us all as caretakers.

A pupil check an hour before the debate showed Mr. McCain still under the effects of heavy hypnosis, and, with this evidence, I'm concerned the McCains are still a troubled, deeply unhappy couple. To avoid any more skull fractures like the one received from a lamp post in Akron, and - most importantly - to avoid any further damage to this campaign, I believe we need to now focus on McCain's family happiness, even if the cure is chemical and temporary.

Well, thoughts? I'll suggest forwarding this to Dr. Juliousos and Dr. Margliobard for additional behavioral review. And let's also consider a CC to Mrs. McCain's medical team, suggesting a doubling of Midazolam.

Dr. Travis Towers is a guest blogger on

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