OKAY, WE DEMOCRATS HAVE A FUCKING NOMINEE! THANK YOU.
N O W . . . W E - P R O U D L Y - P R E S E N T
THE LONG LOST 1934 GEORGE BUSH JOHN McCAIN TIJUANA BIBLE
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Wednesday June 4 2008
HOLY SHIT PART TWO
Astounding is the only word possible for this one
Presenting THE LONG LOST 1934 GEORGE BUSH JOHN McCAIN TIJUANA BIBLE (vintage nsfw!)
We recently came into possession of one of the rarest and most sought after of documents. Which one, you ask? The long lost 1934 JOHN McCAIN BIBLE. YES. THAT ONE. To collectors of the TRULY ODD and UNMENTIONABLE you already know what this means. Yes, it exists! Yes, We've scanned the whole thing. Yes, Click HERE to see it! To others, read on for the completely INCREDIBLE STORY of what this is and how it came into our hands!
Late Breaking News - 1500 copies of high quality reproduction Bibles were distributed to delegates at the 2008 DNC, with other copies later distributed via xerox at the RNC. Click for more information and photos.
Returning to the story of rediscovering this authentic one of a kind item:
This item arrived to us through the chanced purchase of a box of random undetermined documents - belonging, we were told, to the recently deceased Millionaire Huntington Hartford. (wiki and obit) The still-sealed box, purchased from a dumpster diver who fetched it from the curbside trash outside Mr Hartford's Bahamas residence last month, arrived without ceremony or description at our steps last Tuesday. We had purchased it for scrap.
We didn't think much of it at first - many boxes of things arrive here for processing and evaluation. And once we could pry the jammed and rusted box open --which just based on dust and the loud POP sound had clearly not been opened for decades-- the first few things proved pretty dull. Old TV Guides, mostly. But upon further review we soon realized that within this box of unimportant personal effects and aged letters there was, in fact, a very important piece of political history. Yes. By complete accident we had stumbled upon the hiding place for one of the most coveted political comics of all time: "OBLIGING LADY" - the 1934 Tijuana Bible long sought after by historians as the oldest known document to feature George Bush and John McCain. We're not teasing, we have it right here to show in complete eight page detail. And in what we must refer to as an intimate embrace! We're talking filthy intercourse!
now it can be told
Forgive our excitement, but let's ALL restrain ourself for a second ... See, from an archival standpoint, it gets even better. Further investigation to this document shows that -Yes!- not only is this the authentic and highly sought 1934 McCain Bible (see below for document history and the decades of interest surrounding it), but having the physical Bible right here to examine closely we can also reveal NEW PREVIOUSLY UNKNOWN INFORMATION on this PREVIOUSLY UNSEEN document:
Ready for it? This John McCain George Bush Bible is in fact a "Lieberman Squeezer" - specifically Catalog Item #103-B!
Proof! Stamped information from the Back Cover.
Any aficionado of the genre knows that Lieberman Squeezers (see note below) were among the rarest of all Tijuana Bibles (or "gentleman's stroke books") during the genre's hayday of the 30s-40s. To find any new Squeezer is BIG NEWS itself, but for an unknown Squeezer to be, IN FACT, the long sought after McCain Bible is an incredible piece of news! And it gets even stranger. Unbelievably, this document also seems to feature a young Lieberman himself as well as his long-suggested intimate friend Nancy Pelosi! It's almost too much to believe. Truly Uncanny. But here we have it!
ABOUT LIEBERMAN'S LIL' SQUEEZERS:
Called 'el squeezies' in store slang, Lieberman's Lil' Squeezer Books were always the highest quality Tijuana Bibles, but very few survived. And no exact list has ever been compiled, leading historians to assemble a full listing of titles via the method of one title found at a time. This is only the seventh Squeezer to ever be fully documented. Previous titles featured the full cast of Lil'Abner with Huey P Long, and another one featuring Mexican Presidents Lázaro Cárdena and Abelardo Rodríguez in a vast discussion about ethics - that one is particularly notable for not being about sex at all - but instead a completely dry public service document about governmental reform. As H. L. Mencken famously mused, "Clappy always surprised!"
ABOUT CLAPPY LIEBERMAN:
One of the most established adult format publishers of the 30s, Jumpin' Clap Lieberman created a minor empire with his grimy 'Squeezers' merchandise of books, 78 rpm music (Squeezer'Slabs) - and small batch hand cream called Mona Lisa, which was wildly popular at the time (particularly in combination with his other two product lines) but later found to contain high dosages of cocaine extracts and lead which forced its removal from stores. An attempt at a children's line of books entitled "Lil Squeekers" featuring 'baby' versions of his popular comic characters was met with little interest.
ABOUT THE 1934 McCAIN BIBLE:
UPDATE - Now verified by CGC as an authentic Lieberman Squeezer! -
The 1934 McCain Bible has long caught the imagination of the American collector. Its origins are unclear, though it first appeared to the public as a reference in a 1937 Lead Belly song lyric:
Workin So Hard So Hard On This Road / Without My 1934 McCain Bible Comic / Lord I Need a Gun.
From there it travelled as myth, from town to town - and from era to era. Everyone was sure they had seen it but no one could produce a copy. In the 40s it was said that one could spot Bert Lytell in the background on a sofa, flipping through a copy of the comic almost every week, as if religiously, on Philco TV Playhouse.
Actual Bible posted uncensored. Adults Only.
Finally some proof of the McCain Bible was found in the 60s, but only as a citation. It appeared on a order form for a list of no longer available sex books found in the back room bookstore of a New York novelty shop and delicatessen. But it was on a list! The list was found in 1964 by controversial Sexologist Willard Spanks. Long considered an unpredictable character to the academic community - many dismissed Spanks insistence that this list PROVED the 1934 McCain Bible existed. 'Vut is myth is now fuct!' He screamed. "He says fuct for fact!" howled his contemporaries, wadding up his report and tossing it at his forehead. "Ha Ha" they continued to say. Mocked and rejected, Spanks immediately left the academic community at NYU and reclusively died in 1987, his last bitter unappreciated request being his research be buried with him. And buried with him they were, as since his death in 1987 no mention of the McCain Bible has been found anywhere. For many years the book has been considered a complete mass-fabrication from the past. Until today, and until now. Here it is for your enjoyment.
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